


Why is Bill Cipher handcuffed in our basement?

by LaughingLizzie



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Human Bill Cipher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-05 02:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11568471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingLizzie/pseuds/LaughingLizzie
Summary: A year has passed since the terrifying Weirdmageddon had ended in Gravity Falls. Bill had called upon the axolotl so he may return and it granted his request just not in the way Bill had wanted him to.





	1. The awakening

**Author's Note:**

> So... Hi! This is my first time posting here and I've been writing this for a while now and thought, 'what the hell might as well post this here.' So I don't know how long it'll until I post again being a student and all and working on other projects. So if anyone reads this, thank you for giving this story your time.

 

Bill gripped onto the statue that once housed his immortal body, the touch of it was cool and slightly squishy? He looked down feeling as though it was the worst mistake he had made in his uncountable years, instead of seeing the triangular points that made up his body, he saw two skinny legs firmly planted on the ground Bill then started to question if he still retained his near omnipotent powers, he slowly lifted both legs off the ground he figured that it was just a normal human body when he fell face first onto the earth that was beneath him, he cursed the ground that he was now forced to walk upon. Slowly putting one in front of the other he began his long trek through the woods trying to see if the axolotl had stayed true to his word, had he truly returned? Or was this his eternal punishment for his mere existence. He looked back at the statue feeling something along the lines of regret, the shame he felt for not crushing the Pines family like the annoying insects they were sooner.

The woods seemed to stretch on forever every step appeared to take forever, the body he held now was one of the slowest things he had ever possessed. Was he stuck in a dimension where everyone moved in slow motion? There was numerous ways to find out but he continued to walk, fuelled only by the hate he felt for the entire Pines family. And all that walking for an indeterminate amount of time gave him a burning sensation around his chest he wouldn’t stop, not caring at all for his own self-preservation focused mostly on the skinniness of his new legs. Now that he had the time to focus on his new body the rest of it was skinny too, his gorgeous pointed sides were now gone and there was nothing replacing them he just stood straight up, Bill started thinking about the multiple reasons as to why his body had not collapsed in on itself, wondering for this amount of time not knowing how long it had actually been before he started. Walking around not noticing the surroundings around oneself causes them to eventually stumble onto something whimsical, for Bill that was an abandoned road he then collapsed onto the road and let the entire world go black.

“Do you think he could hurt us?” A male voice asked, his tone made him sound like he was about to wet his pants.

“I doubt it we found him collapsed on the side of the road how dangerous could he be? And anyways he’s hot now, and as we all know hot guys can’t be dangerous.” A female voice spoke up this time, she sounded more confident than the other voice like everything she spoke was fact rather than opinion.

“I don’t care what he is we just need to get him out of here as soon as we can. I don’t want any hot men handcuffed in this basement.” A third voice spoke up, it sounded older and gravelly and it practically spat out every syllable it spoke.

Bill slowly opened his eyes (eyes! He had two now?) Looking at the face of a slightly older Pine Tree, the bags under his eyes were more noticeable than ever before, any other changes were probably too miniscule for him to notice. To the left of him was Shooting Star she looked practically the same apart from the sweater she was wearing, and was she taller than him? He leaned in as much as he could to get a better view he noted a slight height difference Shooting Star was taller than Pine Tree, he let out a quick snort of amusement all that he earned from that was a quick slap from Pine Tree.

“You find something funny Cipher?” Dipper choked out his voice laced with murderous intent.

“Tell me something Pine Tree, after going through your layers of insecurities last year, you’re not the tiniest bit annoyed that your sister is still taller then you?”

“I think your slap broke him kid.” Stan sighed wearily rubbing his eyes under his glasses, the exhaustion of the situation finally catching up with him.

Bill simply didn’t care for the Pines family. They had ruined everything that he had set out to do, years of his life wasted and his near immortal body was gone, all that he had now was the flesh sack which he had come to despise with every ounce of energy he could muster. 

“Hey!” Bill piped up once again, “How bout I offer you guys a deal? This one’ll be pretty hard to refuse.”

“Why would anyone want to make a deal with you?” Pine Tree spoke up his face showing all kinds of disgust.

Bill gave out a small chuckle before answering, “Ohh, I think you’ll like this one. So, if one of you flesh piles lets me go I won’t find the nearest blunt object and smash your skulls out with it, deal?” He finished his offer by making his already wide grin practically split his face in half.

The entire basement was left in silence only the wide eyes of the Pines family letting Bill know that they had heard his offer.

“C’mon you shake my hand, and it’s a situation where we all get something good. I don’t think you understand how amazing it’ll be not having this ugly thing handcuffed in the basement.” Bill said gesturing to his body, if he was stuck in a human body could he at least semi-resemble his old self?

“No, we’re not making anything with you last time we struck a deal I was bodynapped, Mabel was in a bubble of your lies and deceptions and Grunkle Stan had to get his mind wiped just so we could get rid of you! Bill you’re like a fly to this family and no matter how many times we try to get rid of you it’s like you find some way to buzz around our heads once more.” Pine Tree started ranting to the point of small tears rolling down his cheeks.

Bill gave him a smarmy smile in return. “Pine Tree, I don’t care about what I did to this family, as I see it you all deserve what you got I’ll do it again if I could. I’d revel in each strike I take, and maybe this time I’d finally fulfil the death wish your family got by messing with my plans. Maybe this time it’ll be both and not just one, do you get it Pine Tree? I’m going to kill you and your sister painfully.” He finished his sentence with a small chuckle and in a few seconds the basement was filled with terrifying shrieks of laughter ending with the Pines family shuddering and quickly making their way out up the stairs.   


	2. Fords Reaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez two chapters already I should try to make a regular upload schedule...
> 
> But I'm lazy!  
> Anyway enjoy the chapter!

Dipper stared at the locked basement, his nostrils filled with the musty scent of the Mystery Shack gift shop. Soos was off leading a tour, leaving only Grunkle Ford and Wendy Grunkle Ford stood before them he seemed the most panicked about Bills return however he tried to keep calm and level headed. Wendy didn't seemed that worried and just stood at the counter waiting to serve guests. Hearing the faint sounds of laughter from the basement, as they reached Dippers ears he felt chilled to the core and staring at the face of Mabel, he could tell that she was just as disturbed, Dipper looked at Grunkle Ford his face staying cold and analytical.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” The three of them remained silent their eyes gave away everything he needed to know.

“I see. Does he still retain his abilities?”

Dipper spoke up, it sounded like something just above a whisper, “We didn’t ask, but if he still had anything he would’ve most likely done something to us.”

Grunkle Ford only nodded, quickly moving past the three and into the dark basement probably to interrogate Bill a little further since the three since they did such a terrible job at it and Bill probably felt more inclined than ever to keep his information to himself.

“Well this is great, I’ve got a hot man handcuffed in my basement, if the cops come snooping around I’m blaming you!” Grunkle Stan pointed a finger directly at Mabel.  
Mabel gave her Grunkle a face filled with fear, the only response she got back was the shack shaking with hearty laughter.

“Just kidding sweetie I’d never do that.” Mabel responded back with a small smile. “Right, well I’ve avoided mentally scarring my niece, I’m going to get rid of my own mental scars by doing what normal people do. That's probably scamming people.” 

And with that another Grunkle had left the gift shop. Leaving the twins in panic.

“Aaahhh, Mabel what are we going to do? We’ve got Bill trapped down there he could get out and murder us in our sleep and then use our arms and legs as boomerangs or something worse.” Dipper started to freak out but tried to remain cool with his voice, but those irregular cracks throughout his words, made it obvious the panic that was racking throughout his body.

“Is Grunkle Stan really going to blame this on me?”

“Mabel focus! What are we going to do about this? Should we just let Bill go and let government agents or the police handle the utter devastation he could wreak.” More voice cracking ensued.

“Dipper he’s probably powerless now. we could just let him go and he’d probably be a model or something, because he’s appealing to the female demographic now and he couldn’t be like a serial killer or something, they’re all weird, creepy, gross people.”

“Ted Bundy.”

“I have no idea who that is.”

Dipper felt in this moment the only person he could consort with in this moment was Grunkle Ford but he had not emerged from the basement. Dipper felt a compulsion to go back down there, something was calling him down, or maybe it was his own curiosity leering him down and praying on his own fears.

“Mabel, I’m going back down there. I have to know what’s going on.”

Mabel turned to him and nodded, “Bro-bro I support you, but I’m not going back down there I don’t need any more nightmares, I’ll just stay up here and do things…” Her voice trailed off leaving them both in silence.

Dipper tried putting his fears behind him as he slowly creeped down, faint noises sending his brain into overdrive panic mode.

He saw it in the dim light, Grunkle Ford standing over the former demon, the latter just giving him a devious smile. 

“Sixer! You’ve been staring at me for a while I know you didn’t just come down to see my pretty face. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“You’re still alive.” You could hear him grinding his teeth down to the gums.

“Well now anyway, took me a little while to come back. But let’s get to the most important question here, this overwhelming cloud that’s lingering above us.”

“What’s that?”

“Fordsie, why haven’t you blasted a hole through my head?”

And with that simple question silence hung throughout the air. The air seemed thick between the two, the tension rising Ford practically shaking with anger where he stood. Bill waiting there in anticipation for the answer, his smile toned down a little as if to give the notion that he genuinely was interested for a response from Ford.

“If you knew you were human why haven’t you just offed yourself?”

“Do it in style Fordsie.”

You could hear a slight grunt from Ford.

“Okay enough! What do you want from my family?” Ford’s voice raised a bit causing Dipper to jump slightly. 

“Sixer, can you do me a favour?” Bill was avoiding the issue.

“What?”

“Well it’s just that sitting in this dingy basement, and wondering through the woods has this puny human body exhausted. Can you get me the liquid you humans call wahwah?”

“What?” This question from Ford sounded more curious than downright disgusted with his mere existence.

“Oh! Silly me, can you get me some wahwah, please?” Bill made his point by batting his eyelashes.

Ford got more frustrated with Bill, that much Dipper could tell. “No, the question didn’t need to be fixed with common manners just, what is wahwah?”

Bill seemed almost speechless that Ford had no idea what he was talking about, “Earth’s made up of the stuff, it’s clear but if it’s in a mass it looks blue.”

That seemed like the point where Ford had given up on Bill.

“Water Bill, it’s water.”

Bills eyes seemed to light up at that moment, “Yeah! Wahwah can I have some please?” No matter how hard Ford tried Bill just would do everything wrong to purposely get on his nerves.

“Yeah sure.” He deadpanned.

Ford made turned his back to Bill and proceeded to move towards the basement stairs where Dipper was hiding. It was too late to climb his way back up, Ford would realise he was there and who knows what he would do if he found out Dipper was listening to their entire conversation. He quickly clung onto the wall hoping to hide into the shadows. Dipper held his breath as he heard his Grunkles footsteps getting closer and eventually passing him, and finally hearing the faint sound of the door shutting.

“Hey Pine Tree, wanna have a good ol’ heart to heart with your pal Bill?”

Dipper swore his heart stopped at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about putting a ship in here somewhere in this story, but I don't want to make it the main focus. School's getting to the end of the term, so there'll be a whole bunch of tests so that means studying, or just secretly reading fanfiction and wasting my life. 
> 
> But you should still stick around, chapter three will probably be here in the next ten years most likely.


End file.
